“Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.”
— John Wilmot
Hey you! Mom with the grown kids. I’m talking to you! It seems you’ve forgotten what it was like to have little ones that were rambunctious, loud and dirty. Well, I remember! I remember being a childless woman not knowing what motherhood was like and having your little ones smear dirt on my pants, yell so loud I had a buzzing in my ear for hours and most important behave so badly I vowed never to have children like yours. Well guess what, I have kids now and they’re just as dirty, just as loud and most importantly just as badly behaved as yours were and I’ eating crow. I admit it.
However, what doesn’t bother me is how wrong I was about raising children. Very wrong.What bothers me is the looks you give ME now. The comments you give ME now. The fact that now you judge everything I do and make comments about how bad my kids are but in reality you’ve simply forgotten what it was like. You’ve forgotten how it felt to try and calm down a screaming toddler who wants that candy and you just won’t give in. Or how it’s just easier to let your preschooler dress themselves in that uncoordinated outfit than spend an hour trying to get to where you need to go. I get it, your kids are older now and you barely see them because they’re always locked away in their room doing their teenager things and that’s cool. I get it. You have peace now but this has all taught me a huge lesson.A lesson in humility.
Next time I see a mom struggling I will do what I can to help her, either with a smile or hand. I will never judge a mom for her decisions in parenting. If she uses formula, God bless her for making that choice. If she Cloth diapers, good for her! If she looks like she hasn’t worn make up in a month and probably has gum in her hair, then it’s good…she’s up and making the best decisions for her children. If I see a little one having a tantrum and the mother just standing there I wont judge her parenting, chances are she’s taking a stand and not giving in. Good for her! We are all fighting a tough battle and in the end I realize that this time too will pass and my kids will be teenagers and will doing teenager things. With that I will face another set of problems and the ones I went through will be long gone.
The point of this all is to remember as mothers we’ve all walked in each others shoes and its important to remember you were once there . So have charity towards that mother who may be fighting a battle right in front of you because chances are that was you just a short time ago.
Comments & Reviews
Mandy P says
It seems like other moms are the most judgmental. Like you said, just because one mom chooses to do it differently doesn’t make her wrong. And, you don’t really know what she’s dealing with big picture when you’re only seeing a single moment in her day.
Jutta P. says
I have found that mothering is a constant study in humility. Just when I think “I” have it all figured out, my kids remind me that they are humans with opinions too. Ha! I can’t wait to see what kind of journey the third baby will give me too!
Amen!!! Yes It is!!
Veronica Lee says
I love this post! Don’t you just hate it when people are critical about your parenting style!?? How true that as moms, we should support each other instead of being judgemental over their parenting style as every child is different.
It’s so hard!! I agree, we’re all doing the best we can <3
My little one isn’t here yet, but I agree with everything you said. I’m guilty of being judgemental about someone else’s parenting style. And it is very true that I have no clue what she deals with on a daily basis. Now that I’m about to become a mom I don’t judge I help or try to at least. I think it’s important that we support each other as moms instead of looking down on each other because we’re different. Children don’t come with a manual if they did they’d be boring little robots.
It’s funny! Especially since I have a teaching degree and have taught students in high school with behavior issues successfully. It’s always just plain different when its your own kids.