Having a large family has become almost an anomaly. I get it, it’s not easy nor feasible for many people to have large families. That being said, you shouldn’t judge someone or make them feel bad because they’ve taken this decision with their life. Because in the end Just like one should respect a person’s decision to have no children, just as much as someone’s decision to have more.
Yes, They’re all mine and I’m perfectly ok with having more.
I get it, people can be rude, nosy or just mean well. However, it doesn’t fail… I’ll be out with my 4 kids and some stranger will make the following comments: “Are they all yours?” “You do know how that happens?” “Are you done?” or my personal favorite… ” I don’t know how you do it (now here comes the kicker) I would just DIE!” I get all sorts of interesting comments about my large family.
I know to many 4 is a lot. If you would have told me during my youth I would be a homeschooling mother of 4 I would laugh in your face. Honestly, If you told me during the years my husband and I struggled with infertility, I wouldn’t believe you. I have to say though, it has been an amazing ride and I couldn’t imagine my life any other way.
By today’s standards my family is slowly gaining “Freak show status” because my husband and I are doing something so natural, and so normal as having children.
We aren’t asking from society to raise them,care for them or even pay for their needs. We are trying to raise them to be good, law abiding citizens and most importantly we aren’t just “raising kids” we are trying to leave a better legacy for our Earth with children that will carry on what we taught them.
What I can’t wrap my head around is the fact that “When did it become such an absurdity to have large families”? When did we decide it wasn’t ok? Even kids in general are becoming something people don’t really want.
I can’t for one minute imagine my grandfather and grandmother making the decision to stop at 2.5 kids instead of having the 15 they did. For starters I wouldn’t have been born since my mom was #5.
That would have really sucked for me . Or Mozart’s mom who had 7 (Her youngest being the famed composer) So you see, life has a way of working out doesn’t it?
My kids don’t define who I am ,but define what it is to have a future. These beings that have been entrusted to us to continue the cycle of life. That cycle that we must delicately cater to because if we take the attitude that kids aren’t welcomed no matter how many there may be, than what future do we have as a human race?
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not judging those that choose not to have kids or those that only have 1 or 2. Believe me each decision is reached with your own family in mind. All I’m saying is don’t judge or make dumb comments to those that are open to life.
There are moments where there is absolute chaos around me.There are moments when I can’t even think long enough to get a bathroom break ,only to be reminded I had to go after a sneeze.
Life can be absolutely crazy, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. In the end… it’s our decision to make and it’s a blessed decision we HAVE made. I know that in the end when all is said and done..the odds are I will have at least one of my littles watch over me when I end up in diapers myself.
Many people think well I can’t give my kids everything if I have too many, but you’re wrong! We are creating a generation of children that HAVE TO HAVE EVERYTHING. From the latest tech gadgets to the nicest clothes. We can’t say no. But are we really happier as a society? Are our relationships really healthier? Is that really what it’s all about?
So if you’re like me and have experienced someone making a comment and depending on your emotional level at the moment brushed away the tears or laughed it off… you’re not alone. For those of you who see that mom with 3+ children don’t make comments, or dumb jokes, Embrace the fact that this person is taking an active part in YOUR future. One day you’ll be old and who will pay for your social security, milk or healthcare? It will be her grown children caring for you, so thank her.
Comments & Reviews
“All I’m saying is don’t judge or make dumb comments to those that are open to life.”
So are you saying those of us who made an informed choice not to have kids are not open to life? Did I misread?
I never wanted kids and hey, if you want to have ten and you can take care of them I think that is great so long as you are not risking your health in the process.
I take exception with some of what you have written. I am one who is against burdening children in my old age. If you give children a life to live, let them live it without the worry of taking care of an elderly or sick parent full-time (and I know all too well what my mom goes through with her mom). We have plans in place – financially – so that when we are old and grey, we will be taken care of. We will not burden my husband’s kids with it and the people taking care of us, can thank US because they will be well paid.
I think people are ignorant who make those comments and I would never state such a thing, but there are those of us who do disagree with some of the reasons people choose to have children or choose to have so many. It can be a constructive conversation, but unfortunately most times it isn’t.
You obviously missed the whole point of this article. And apparently missed the sentence right before saying “I’m not judging those that choose not to have kids or those that only have 1 or 2. Believe me each decision is reached with your own family in mind.”
Not sure how you find offense with my next sentence because I’m asking people not to make ignorant or dumb comments because I was open to life offensive to you? I never said if you don’t have kids you’re not open to life, or did I insult anyone for not having kids. I know your decision was not an easy one to come to and I’m sure it was something that took time and consideration to reach.
However, finding any insult in this post unless you’ve made comments to larger families escapes me and maybe points out your own sensitivity on the subject which is your right to have.
Either way sorry you find offense in something that wasn’t meant as an attack on those that have chosen not t haI’m not judging those that choose not to have kids. Finding offense in anything other than what is written is your doing and not the point of this article.
We had 6 children, all grown now, and my husband and I would take all of them food shopping with us. We would fill 3 to 4 carts. People would whisper and stare.
The best question I got when we moved in to our new house. Our neighbor whom had 1 child asked “what do you feed them?, there’s so many kids. I replied, “same food that you do. But instead if cooking one box of pasta, we cook 2 to 3. Lol
Keep up the great work!
HAHA! People always have a comment don’ they and thank you <3
Amanda S. says
We have 5 beautiful, wonderful, happy children 13 and under. I wouldn’t change it for the world. Aside from the first one (that was a very big but welcomed surprise as a teenager) the rest were all prayed for, wanted, and planned. My husband and I have been together 15 years and for a long time we just had two. We had a girl (13) and a boy (10.5) and we felt “done”. Then when our boy was about 5, I started wanting “just one more”. It took me about a year to get my husband on board but one day I just casually mentioned it and he said “Let’s go for it.” 5 cycles later, #3 was on the way. Then 2 years later #4 and then 2 years after that #5. NOW, I think we’re done. We have no plans for a permanent fix but my heart is completely happy and content where we are. Our kids are second generation homeschoolers and we love our life. I am 29 but look very young and I get a LOT of rude/nosy comments. I just smile and tell them we’re very blessed. But for as many comments and weird looks as I get when I say that, YES, ALL 5 are mine/same father/not my stepkids….I get equally as many comments from people who stop us to tell us what well behaved children we have. That makes it all worth it.
<3 Love this!! congrats on a beautiful family!
I always wanted 4-6 kids. I’m having my first at 35, so the odds aren’t in my favor lol. The only thing I ever thing when I see a family with several little kids is that is a lot of work! But what fun!
Rebecca Kirshman says
I have 3 grown children & 3 beautiful grand kids and they want 1 more. They would be thrilled to have twins. My husband & I wanted more kids but it just wasn’t in the cards for us. But grand babies , bring them on. Lol. I believe most people don’t mean to offend, they just don’t think how it sounds to you. They think about what they would do and that’s no a bad thing. People having babies just because they think they should is not in the best interest of a child. I had a friends at work tell me a”I wouldn’t understand the pain of losing a child because I have spares”! I was absolutely speechless! Spares?! Really!? Unfortunately there are a lot of crazies out there.
That’s sad for her to have that mentality and I agree not a good reason to have kids. I can honestly say though it hurts. When I miscarried it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. So her theory baffles me 🙁
Randi C. says
It’s so amazing how times change; my father was one of four and my grandmother could not understand how someone could have only one or two!
We are expecting our first next month but when we started dating, my husband thought he wanted 8! I think we’ll probably end up having 2 or 3 but who knows! It is crazy what people judge others for. As long as your kiddos are taken care of, you’re doing it right!
Bernadette C @Aimless Moments says
I have 5 so trust me when I say I can fully agree with everything you say. I get all the time, people asking if they are all mine and saying they bet I will be happy when they are all in school. And wow thats alot and are you having anymore. ALL THE TIME! Sometimes I get the nice ones that say how well behaved they are or how beautiful they are and those comments are always awesome. It is alot of work but I usually dont complain about the kids because I had them. They are very helpful and they are always there for whatever. I was an only child and growing up I was not one of those that ever wondered or even thought about how many kids I would have or any of that so me having 5, or even 1, was ever planned out. I am glad I have mine and as far as having more I would if I didnt have to be pregnant for 9 months lol.
HAHA! That darn pregnancy can be the deal breaker.lol
Amanda G says
I can really appreciate this post, even though right now we have two children. Any time I mention to my parebts that our plan is to have at least one-possibly two more their response is “take each one as it comes” as to say “well this one might be hard and you won’t want any more” well if that we’re true I would have stopped at one! There have been many things said over the years to discourage us from having more than two and even more so the fact that we have to girls…because you know who in their right mind could ever possibly be happy with multiple children of the same gender?! I found this post really uplifting, thanks!
jocelyn valencia says
cute lil ones. its also nice having big families because as the sayings says “the more the merrier”
People rarely think before making what they assume are casual comments like that. I think it’s just something people don’t consider until they’re making the choice for themselves – and like most choices, we tend to judge (at least a little, to ourselves) the choices others make that are different than our own.
Angela Rhodes Ingles says
It often amazes me how incredibly brazen and rude people can be! I’m glad you can just brush it off and live your own life.
I have three, often babysit for a herd and I’d love more. But I think I need a farm to feed them first!!
My friend has 7 children, and I’ve never understood why people stay stupid stuff like that. I have no idea how I would keep my cool in the face of people like that as she always does, but I do know I love her and I love all my honorary nieces and nephew.
Jen S says
We have two, a boy and a girl, and we’ve gotten the “Oh yay! You can be done now since you got it right and have the ‘perfect family!'” As if my daughter had been a boy instead, that baby would have just been the consolation prize and we would have needed to keep having babies until we finally had one of each.
That is crazy what people have said to you I couldn’t believe that when I read it. I think your children are lovely and it’s no one’s business. God Bless.
Shalaina S says
Baby #3 was born to us this past September, and along with his birth the floodgates of “family planning” were unleashed. While I don’t mind strangers commenting on whether or not we are done growing our family, it bothers me to hear those close to me hint that they believe my husband and I shouldn’t have more children. In particular friends of ours who, get this, don’t have ANY children! I stopped working to be a SAHM to my then 2 children, and I was amazed at the comments regarding me being “just a mom”. Society as a whole really needs to reevaluate the emphasis (or lack thereof) it places on family and place less value on things. Having more children doesn’t rob you or them of opportunities or happiness, you just might buy less stuff that others think they can’t live without.
I love this!! I only have two kids and I look up to moms like you, not for one second do I wonder if others are “done”! That’s no one else’s business but ours as parents! I say as long as your kids are happy, healthy and loved, I say go for it!! Have a bunch!! 🙂
Kathy C. says
I loved the post however I don’t think that most people are trying to belittle you or your choice by their comments.
I think it’s just one of the stupid things we automatically say! I only have 1 child and that was our choice. I come from a family of 6 as does my husband. Every family has to choose for themselves. There are pros and cons in either choice but I am thankful we have that choice! And I applaud you for making your choice in having as many children as you want and for homeschooling. We chose to homeschool and never got any flak for it but I know that is another choice that people seem to think they have the right to comment on.
Cara Markunas says
Very good. My husband is one of seven also. U go girl. Not for me, but all the more power to you for having more love, more patience, more strength, more knowledge and everything else you give it your all! 🙂
I am a single mom to a gorgeous little girl and everyone assumes that I’m married. Stereotypical crap I say. I don’t know what comes to peoples minds. Yes, you may seem like you have your hands full but if you had an issue with it, wouldn’t you have stopped? I mean it’s your choice to have as many or as little children as you want. I don’t understand why so many people have to put an input on everything. It isn’t your life, don’t worry about it. You look very happy with your children and they look quite content as well. I know large families aren’t for everyone but to each their own. If we were all the same, life would be pretty freaking boring. Best of luck if you decide to expand your family some day! 🙂
Tiffany Schmidt says
Thank you for this post. Large families are awesome. They just aren’t for some people. However, those people, need not make any comments or criticisms!
I am always amazed at the topics that perfect strangers feel comfortable discussing/asking. The issue is NOT how many children a family is – the important question is “what kind of adults are they being raised to be?” and families of ALL sizes can be the place where wonderful, loving, kind human beings are raised and nurtured. And, sadly, the opposite is true is well. Blanket statements/judgements just don’t work. Kudos to you for the way you are raising your kids!
I admire people like you who can enjoy having a family that large, though I don’t think four kids is extreme. My anxiety level with two is high, but who is to say it would change if we tried for the third we teeter totter back and forth with? I was anxious with one! LOL! I think it all depends on the dynamics of the parents. I used to want a large family when I was younger, but after two high risk pregnancies my husband and I wonder if we are equipped to handle it.
Maureen L. says
We just had our first but I want at least one more.
robyn danielle says
I love this post! And I’m looking forward to the questions, because I’ve been saving up all kinds of crazy answers!
Jennifer Hughes says
I only have 3 but I’d love to have more & more as well! 🙂
Stephanie Slavy says
I wish people thought before opening their mouths. It doesn’t how many or how few children you have if you have any. You know what your family should look like. 🙂
April Huyler says
Love this post – as another mom of 4 (we’re done because of finances 🙁 ) I totally understand where you are coming from. I also know moms of one or 2 of the same gender (I have 3 boys and my youngest is a girl) it’s assumed you shouldn’t be happy with 1 child – or all boys/girls – etc. If you’re having children to fit societies cardboard cutout of a family – well then IMO you shouldn’t be having kids! I’m thrilled to be a mom of 4 and no, we weren’t ‘trying’ for a girl. 😉
Good for you! I plan on having three myself.. maybe more!! 🙂
Linda R says
I LOVE this post! I’m the oldest of 4 and had the best childhood growing up. I really enjoyed having 3 other siblings to play with. My husband and I are hoping for four children ourselves, we already have an 18 month old and our second is due tomorrow! Thanks for writing this article, it makes me feel happy and excited about having a “big family” 🙂
I have a lot of friends who have lots of kids. Big families around me. They don’t judge me for having a small family, and I certainly don’t judge them for their large families. Although I could never do it 🙂
Linda Meyers-Gabbard says
Bless you and your beautiful family. I am guilty of saying those things. I guess we people in general do ask others dumb questions and those being asked do get tired of the dumb questions.
i.e. Asking a tall person how’s the weather up there. In general we askers really do not mean any harm.
I have a cousin with six. She had five boys (a set of twins in there) before finally getting a girl. Now she’s done.
Large families are on the rise I think.
Gabrielle Dennison says
Amen. I would love to have as many kids as I could, if money were not an issue. My own mother makes comments about people having too many kids. Irony being I may well be one of those people in the future.
Taylor Schell says
reading this made me on the verge of tears. I only just recently had my first little guy at the age of 24 and I do dream of having one more, at least… but sometimes I feel it may not be possible or the want for another baby is not shared with my significant other. we are a very low income family and it’s very tough taking care of just the three of us. I could receive more government assistance than I already do but would have to put my baby in daycare so I could work. I want to raise my own child. I want more. I want to be a stay at home mom but unfortunately my SO doesn’t have the education to provide for everyone on his own. I do hope and wish with all my heart that I can have a large family someday. I do appreciate your insight that our children don’t have to have everything and we can teach them to be more sustainable people by being happy with the necessities. thank you for this post 🙂
Andrea Reece says
I am right there with you! I have 5 stepchildren and one son of my own. I want to raise my son myself, but my man just can’t support all of us on his own. I have to go to work and I’m dreading it
Moriah Payne says
We only have one so far, took us two years of trying and seeing an infertility doctor. So if we end up with four after this I will be perfectly ok with it! But just a few years ago, I was set on just having one or MAYBE two, I was an only child and loved it, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much I missed out on without siblings!
Heather Burch says
I love this. I have 3 kids and people look at me like Im crazy when I say I want more.
Trisha W. says
I have seven and all I can say about this post is, “Amen!”
Brittany P says
This is beautifully written, so glad I finally got around to reading it! We’re only on number two right now, but are open to at least three. It amazes me the things people feel it’s ok to say. Thank you for being so gracious!
Kate N. says
I would love a big family. We just had our 2nd in October but I am already thinking about a third. I’m still trying to convince hubby. All our parents think we are crazy for wanting another, Hubbs and I each have one sibling and our parents are all from smaller families. I applaud people with large families. I am always pleasantly surprised, (less surprise than admiration,) that those children are so well behaved. Our first grader goes to a school where many of the children are an only child. I am considering changing schools because these children are so ill-mannered. I think instead of worrying about the large families of well-behaved children, people should concern themselves with teaching their own children to behave and respect themselves and others.
Frances M says
Growing up in a family with four kids, I always wanted to have 4-6 kids of my own. I’m surprised now when I hear that people think I had such a large family. Although we’re not close in age, even as adults we’re all close and each talk to the others at least once a week, if not more. We’re always there for each other and they are my first, and best friends. My parents raised us well, and I like to think that we all turned out pretty good.
If we are respectful of those who don’t want children, or perhaps those who would only like to have one, why should they not be respectful of us?
I’m the oldest of 6, my mom got those comments all the time! My parents are awesome and I can’t imagine a life without all my siblings. What REALLY shocked me was that some rude comments were directed AT ME! Like I had something to do with it? LOL!
That said, I’m ALREADY getting some of those comments and I’m pregnant with my first! Since I’m young (early 20’s) general society thinks I’m crazy for a) getting married young b) having kids young
Though the comments are rude, I think it’s hilarious because i’m only doing what all the generations in my family did! I never expected to get married so young– but I was blessed to meet my husband at a young age!
Moral of the story, no matter WHAT you do, someone will make a rude comment about your choice, so laugh it off and do whatever the heck you want!
Morgan E. says
It is so sad to me that so many in our society think having kids is such a curse and not a blessing 🙁 I know so many like you who have more than 2 and all the sudden they get those comments. I have only been married three years and I have my second to be born in a couple of months. I already get comments like “So how many are planning on having?” And I just smile and say “as many as we are blessed with!” They look at me like I am crazy! It’s sad really. And I wonder how many of those who as how many I have think I am crazy for just the two, since they brought the topic up in the first place.
I totally agree! I’m the oldest of six and I get comments like “you poor thing”. I think it’s SO funny! We have so much fun together and I love my huge age-gap with my youngest sister because I had the opportunity to grow up with her (play games with her, teach her, Change her diapers) and now I have the chance to be the awesome big sister who can help with homework and spoil. Though I’m sad I don’t get to grow up with her during her teen years, I feel like I get the best of both worlds as a big sister:)
People think I’m crazy for just being pregnant with one. It’s a sad world we live in!
Jessica Huth says
This is so funny. I have 2 and every in both families thinks we should be done cause we have 1 of each. I know if I got pregnant again, they would not be happy lol. But hey! It’s my business not there’s. Their tax dollars don’t take care of my kids, they don’t have to feed them and take care of them. So they can shove it!
Jessica Rodenbaugh says
My sister will have 6 kids ages 6 and under. I always feel bad when people react negatively when they hear that. Children are precious. Even if a couple of hers were “surprises” I can’t believe people try to shame her for having too many. It’s none of their business really.
I really can’t believe you get that question with four (I see that number as being on the upper end of small-medium, honestly, even though it’s not a number I aspire to myself). I can’t believe you’d get those questions from strangers; when I see a parent out with multiple littles my question is more likely to be “Can I give you a hand with anything?”
Rosalina Reiss says
Oh i hate that. I only have two and i get asked that alot especially by family. Idk if Im going to have another one, if i do it will be mine and my husbands decision not anyone elses.
Barbie Trahan says
I only have one so far but several people have told me not to have anymore anytime soon. When we see my husbands family they ALWAYS ask to make sure we aren’t expecting. It’s so frustrating. I’m sure they have good intentions but I could certainly handle 2 children, or 3. Sometimes it’s very hard to bite my tongue and not say what I really want. People are so outspoken in the worst ways these days!
Hockey Wife says
A beautiful post! We spend about eight months out of the year in Germany and even with two kids, I feel like I get stares here. Maybe that’s because starting is particularly German. Maybe that’s because they tend to leave their kids at home with their partner or a grandparent to run errands, but I don’t have that luxury so mine are in tow. Either way, they’re well behaved, loving little boys and I am proud to drag … I mean bring … them with me wherever I go. And no, we AREN’T done having kids! Take that, society! Your family is wonderful, who cares what anyone else says or thinks. Pssssh!
Michelle Knopp says
What a great post. I get those questions with just 3 kiddos, and yes, I’m hoping God blesses me with another child. You have a beautiful family. Keep up the good work 🙂
You’re super blessed and my hero! I hope to have at least one more and tried for many years to have the 2 month old we have now. At 38 I’m getting tired of people asking questions about how she was cocieved. Procreation is nobody’s business. 🙂
Meggie Woltmann says
Beautiful children! Hilarious meme at the top!! I come from a big family and love it! People need to mind their own business if you ask me!! 😉
Katie E. says
We only have one child right now and plan to have at least 2-3 more and when we tell people that, we definitely get the crazy eyes and a huge reaction out of them! And comments like, “isn’t one sibling enough?!” “you know you’ll be outnumbered then, right?!” And just some downright hurtful things that aren’t even worth mentioning because the people that say those things, should know better! People are going to judge either way whether you have no kids, one kid, or 4 so my husband have already decided to do what is best for our family and what feels right for us!
Alicia Morris says
You have more patience than me I had 3 and that was a hand full My mom had 7 and wee all grew up in a different time than kids today it is so much harder today than when we grew up or even when my kids were little my Daughter has 4 Boys and is a single mom it’s hard with the way things are today
God Bless YOU! You’re children are beautiful! And you have obviously got it all together enough to be able to take care of them all! People are use down right mean sometimes.
Alison Gibb says
Your kids are beautiful and so are you. I only have one child and I wish I had more. I also have only one sibling and I so wish I had more. Thank you for your post!
All Natural Katie says
Great post! Would we ever say to a one or two kid family – “are you only having one?!?!” Let’s put ourselves in the others shoes and embrace responsible parenting.
Thank you!! 🙂 Absolutely!
There are 5 kids in my family. People acted like that was a huge number. I’m LDS (Mormon), so my family was average-sized to me! I grew up around families that have 8 or 10 kids. I honestly just wish that people would learn not to ever comment on someone’s reproduction or lack thereof. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? 😉
If only! lol
gigi borden says
i get your outlook completely and i totally respect you for it! i am going to be having my 4th and i couldn’t be happier! the more the merrier right?! you are a strong woman! people can be nasty!
Thank you! I am getting to the point where I don’t care…but it should be interesting if God ever decides he wants me to have a 5th…can’t wait to hear the comments then.lol Oh well! Congrats on your 4th!
Missy Frye says
I really wanted children, but my body wouldn’t let me. I ended up having a hysterectomy at the age of 33. So, I’m a professional aunt and pretty darn good at it. 😉 You’re blessed, but you already know that.
Mother’s come in all shapes and sizes whether it’s a mommy from the tummy or a mommy from the heart. My Godmother was like my mother. She passed away almost a year ago and It was like I lost my mother, so you are blessed to have littles that I am sure love you just as much!
denise low says
You have some cute babies there.
Tara C says
I’m a mom of four boys – if people have ever made rude comments about the size of my family, I guess I’ve just tuned them out, because I don’t remember hearing any. It might be because my kids are so far spaced out though – my youngest will be a year old next month, and my oldest turns 18 this month (with an 8 year old and a 13 year old in the middle). The comments that I remember have more to do with the fact that I have four BOYS than having four KIDS – “Oh, I bet you were hoping for a girl, huh?” “So are you done trying for a girl or are you going to give it another shot?” and things like that. Or occasionally, comments about the spacing (“Was your youngest planned?” type of thing). And then I look at them trying to figure out how old I am, doing the math involved with me having an infant and an 18 year old. (Answer: I was 19 when I had my first child, and was 36 when I had my youngest).
abedabun dawn says
People use to say to me, “you cant just have one!” He needs someone to play with or he will grow up to be selfish and self centered!”. But what I did not tell them is that I was told I would never be able to have children. My Dr. even advised that I not even try. Well, against the drs advise, and several yrs later, we became proud parents of a little baby boy. Yes it did sting a little when well meaning people would make those remarks, but I wasnt interested in telling my story a million times nor did I feel the need to justify my actions. Though we tried to have more, it never happened. We did however attempt to adopt, but that did not pan out for us.
My parents (I am my parents youngest child. My father died when I was an infant) had 6 children. 10 yrs later my mother adopted a toddler. I can remember her getting the same remarks that you have gotten. If we were in ear shot, she would tell us things like “I never want you to feel you were not planned or wanted” and that we were loved to no end.
I was 10 yrs old when she adopted my little brother (he was a toddler). I remember a lady saying “you must enjoy punishing yourself” I do not remember just what my moms response was, but nor do I remember seeing that lady again lol.
People do not intend to be mean (or at least I do not think they do) they just do not think before they speak. I too have been guilty of it and the lord knows I mean nothing ugly.
I can’t wait to be cleared to try again for number 3. I’m recovering from a miscarriage. I have to wait one more month before we can start trying again. I want two more. My husband wants three. Personally I feel that if we end up with a fifth then I will shortly try for a sixth. I just don’t want a ‘middle child’. My previous pregnancy when I went in for the 8 week ultrasound I was convinced there was something special that it would reveal. I thought, and was hoping for twins. Instead it showed that the baby wasn’t growing. I miscarried the next week. As much work as I know it would be my fondest wish is to have twin girls.
Holly Gomez says
Wonderful words to press upon my heart. Just welcomed baby five home and we are always getting nice comments thrown in with the ‘I don’t know how you do it’. God knows our strengths and weaknesses. Press on. Our large families are beautiful.
Thank you for stopping by Holly! God bless your beautiful growing family!
I agree that some People can be very rude, when I had my Second it was really hard on us financially, I wasn’t working (layed off) at the time, and needed a C-Section, but I am so glad that I didn’t listen to the naysayers. Children are a Blessing, and we got through it. Because of not being able to afford to have more Children it is hard for me to imagine People having large Families, so if ever say anything like Wow, please forgive me, it is just the situation that I have experienced relating to it. I guess small minded relates well to me in this situation. But I am glad for the reminder, and I appreciate your post, and I hope more People will read this and see that they were also being “small minded”.
Thank you Rebecca! I know people like you mean well..I just think we get so caught up at times we don’t realize the huge blessing we are given with each child no matter how many we have whether it be 1 or 12: )
Marlene E. says
Im a mom of 5 and just started my second journey as a surrogate! I LOVE LOVE Your post!! Really, I couldn’t have wrote it any better!!!! Im so happy to read that we are not the only ones that deal with this. Do you also get asked if any are twins? We do all the time. When I tell them they are not twins, they’re15mo apart, they ask me IF I AM SURE & then go on to tell me that they look so much a like and ask AGAIN!! What about when they walk up to you and count your kids out loud to you, as if you didn’t know how many you had!! Seriously I can go on and on about the comments that we get. It truly amazes me how rude some people can be.
It often surprises me that its the younger generation and adults my own age (32) that are so judgmental and its the older seniors that are more accepting of it and always stop to compliment us. Personally I would have thought it to be the other way around.
I dont mind getting stopped, I don’t mind people asking questions…Even the lady next to me at the check stand that asked me a question on everything I was buying and how long it lasted me, was fine-she was polite and just genuinely curious….Its the judging and being rude is what sucks!
Thank you so much for this post!!! Wonderful Job!!!! So glad I stumbled on your FB & Blog…Im off to share your page now 😉
Thank you soooo much Marlene! It’s soo true and I get the Twin comments not only when they see my two oldest but when I’m pregnant (jerks!) We have been given a huge blessing and you are passing that blessing on to others as well!! Keep fighting the good fight! 🙂
I don’t have any children. I have 5 furbabies. What I don’t like is when people have a lot of kids and they just let them do WHATEVER.
I think your comment exemplifies what I’m trying to point out in my write up. Because, I have yet to meet a family with lots of kids who just “lets them do WHATEVER”. The chaos alone would be unthinkable. I think cases like that are very rare. I know more people with just 1 child who “let them do WHATEVER” . Your comment is like saying What I don’t like is People who have lots of animals and live in filth. Sucks doesn’t it? Makes everyone with lots of animals look like an episode of hoarders…not cool!
Marlene E. says
Just proved your point….smh….
Yup.. people forget that sometimes toddlers act up and automatically it’s looked at as they are spoiled brats or what not when sometimes kids will be kids. It’s a matter of teaching them through each behavior to overcome it.
Gosh animal hoarders are weirdoes.
Amanda O says
Im pregnant with our 7th. Now this one was not at all planned..in fact at 25 weeks im still in shock. BUT this one happened for a reason. So imagine the comments ive received..not cool. Especially ” are they all from the same dad”? UM YES! Thank you very much. But i guess in todays world, its pretty darn common for there to be 3 different dads..but hey who am i to judge. Its your family and what you decide. Same goes for mine. So i too, try to ignore those lovely comments and move on with it.
You are very blessed<3 and although it can be surprising each time when you have that gorgeous little baby in your arms it will fall right into place 🙂 Congratulations!
Amanda O says
Thanks hun <3 <3
Fun Fact: Mozart was a 7th child! This baby could be a genius who cures cancer! Congrats!
Amanda O says
aww..thank you!! That would be awesome wouldnt it! <3
Kathy Hartman says
I heard ALL of the comments mentioned over the years . And so many folks though we were insane or stupid to have so many kids. But now that they have seen how the kids are turning out , we get so many compliments about what a nice family we have . And guess who takes care of Grandma and Grandpa who had been ones to question us having more kids ? Yep our 11th child, Sophie and our 12th child, Victoria ! When my sister way dying, my 13th child Tabbie was a major blessing to her . I always tell folks children are a blessing and we ought to treat them that way .
Exactly!! You are very blessed. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say I wish I wouldn’t have had so many kids…I always hear I wish I would have had more.
Melanie S says
We only have 3 but I would have had 10. I am 40 now but would love to adopt in a couple of years.
That is awesome!!!
Alicia Owen says
I will make one stupid comment and say that you have a lot more patience than me for taking care of 4 little people. We only have one daughter for now, but I’d love to have at least 1 or 2 more. With that being said, it is SO NICE to see people write about how they love their larger families that actually intended on having larger families. Not the “Oops, we had another one. Guess we’ll just deal with it.” types. But that’s just me. *stepping off my soapbox now* 🙂
Haha If it makes you feel any better I was SO MUCH MORE overwhelmed with my first and second..after 3 came it was kind of like oh…ok. 🙂
Alicia Owen says
lol Let me guess: Your first two were completely different from each other? That’s what I’m afraid of. Our daughter was (and still is, for the most part) the easiest baby ever! Hubby and I joke that she was only like that to lull us into a false sense of security to have more. lol
Nah..they were just so close together and my oldest has only one kidney and a hole in his heart so that added A LOT of extra stress…now those things are just in the back of my mind but we deal with them one year at time 🙂 I should add 2nd kids are always interesting creatures..my #2 has been my biggest handful but my biggest help if that makes any sense? lol
🙂 One of my hero moms! lol