Helping our kids bounce back from defeat can be hard. Here are some Tips for Helping Kids Bounce Back from Failure

 

Tips for Helping Kids Bounce Back from Failure

As a parent or caregiver, you want your child to grow up happy, confident, and resilient. However, failure and setbacks are an inevitable part of life. The key is teaching kids how to cope and bounce back when things don’t go their way. Here are some tips for helping children learn from failures and become more resilient.

Believe in Them

First and foremost, let your child know you believe in them and their abilities. Avoid statements like “I told you so” or “You should have listened to me.” Comments like these undermine self-esteem. Instead, offer words of encouragement: “I know you can do this,” “You’ve got this next time,” “I believe in you.” Kids need to know their caretakers have confidence in their skills and talents. This provides a solid foundation from which to tackle challenges.

Don’t Dwell on the Failure

When your child messes up or falls short, don’t belabour the failure. Minimise criticism and lectures. Say things like, “I know you’re disappointed, but tomorrow is a new day.” Then move on to discussing positive strategies for next time. Dwelling on the failure simply breeds shame and self-doubt. Help your kid regain perspective and shift their outlook to the future.

Teach Them to Learn from Mistakes

Frame failures as opportunities for growth and learning. Ask your child what they think they could do differently next time. Discuss how skills take practice and missteps are often part of the process. Share some of your own childhood failures and what you learned from them. Let kids know that mistakes help us improve, as long as we reflect on them in positive ways. This instils a growth mindset versus a fixed one.

Praise Effort, Not Just Outcome

When praising your child, emphasise the effort they put in, rather than just the result. Say things like, “I’m proud of how hard you worked on that project,” or “You really gave 100% during your match today.” This shows kids their diligence and determination matter, regardless of the outcome. It also motivates them to keep trying. Praising good efforts also builds resilience in the face of challenges.

Build Self-Esteem in Other Ways

Make sure your child has opportunities to develop confidence by taking on challenges they can successfully meet. Allow them to help out with meaningful tasks at home. Find activities and hobbies they enjoy and excel at. Provide chances to make their own choices and solve problems independently. These experiences help build self-esteem to ensure kids weather the failures that will inevitably come.

Don’t Try to Eliminate All Failure

While painful for kids, minor failures are important learning experiences. Resist the urge to helicopter in and remove all obstacles from your child’s path. Let them come up against challenges, make blunders, and face consequences. With your guidance and support, these failures will help them become capable citizens. Of course, provide help if they become truly overwhelmed or distressed. But remember that small failures pave the way for growth.

Seek Additional Support if Needed

If a foster child is especially struggling with a failure or setback, consider speaking to Foster Care Associates or a therapist. They can provide extra support, tools and reassurance to help build resilience. Don’t hesitate to utilise professional resources to guide your child through this challenging time. With compassion and care, they can gain strength and perspective.

At the end of the day, just be there offering love, support and encouragement. With your help, kids can learn to pick themselves up, take stock, and keep moving forward. Working through failures builds character, determination and resilience—skills