Support Your Shy Teen In Three Simple Steps

We all have an idea of a ‘typical teen’ in our heads. Most often, they have a penchant for shouting, staying out too late, and generally acting out. But, did you know that these teen stereotypes aren’t the only form of self-expression during adolescence? An equally large number of teens become increasingly quiet and withdrawn, hiding in their bedrooms rather than going out at all. 

This can be incredibly difficult to deal with as a parent, and shy teens who experience these problems are often more at risk of struggling with their mental health and wellbeing during these years. Worse, the only article out there about shy teens tends to take a ‘fixing’ approach, which, as any parent knows, is rarely the right option. 

But, is it possible to support your shy teen and help them settle into their adult skin with a little less distress? Absolutely, and we’ve got some tips to help you do it. 

Let Them Speak

If you’re dealing with a shy teen, then ask yourself honestly – do you ever speak on their behalf? Or, perhaps you always try to fill the silence. These are natural parental reactions, but trust us; they’re probably not helping in the way you hoped. 

Shy teens often struggle to find their voices, and you’ll only make that harder if you overpower them in this way. Your efforts could leave them feeling unheard, overwhelmed, and generally unwilling to confide in you. Instead, give your teen space to speak wherever you can. Learn to feel comfortable sitting in silence with them. Once you make space like this, you may find that they start to open up with far less fear of judgment. 

Make Allowances Where Possible

Society is geared towards extroverts, and the same is true of most teen environments. But, you may find that encouraging your shy teen to participate in socializing or class discussions actually distresses them more than it does any good. So, don’t be afraid to make allowances that enable them to live a more comfortable, happy life. 

You certainly shouldn’t enforce excessive socialization if your teen struggles, but could instead encourage them to invite one or two close friends around regularly. Equally, if your child is struggling to adapt to a traditional classroom environment, you may find it beneficial to switch to alternative options like these junior high school online classes. This allows your child to learn in a way that suits their shyness, and could improve their grades and lifestyle overall. 

Remember That Shyness isn’t a Warning Sign

Your teen’s shyness may leave you feeling like you must handle them with care, but remember – shyness in itself isn’t a warning sign that your child is more delicate than any other teen. 

While shyness can certainly increase your child’s risk of mental health problems like anxiety and depression, shyness itself isn’t an issue to fix. As soon as you accept that, you can focus on nurturing your teen’s strengths (such as creativity or empathy), without constantly making them feel like there’s something wrong.