How to Care for Parents Without Burning Out

Caring for your ageing parents is one of those things you’re never going to be properly prepared for – it happens slowly, then suddenly, before you realise it, you’ve got your own responsibilities to deal with as well as everything that comes with getting older, like handling appointments, medication reminders, and generally checking your parents are okay. It’s meaningful and important, and most people want to do it well, but it can also be absolutely exhausting, and if you’re not careful, you can end up running yourself into the ground. With that in mind, keep reading to find out more about how to care for parents without burning out. 

You Can’t Pour From An Empty Cup

It sounds like a cliche (and it is), but that doesn’t mean it’s not true, and the fact is that when you’re tired, stressed, stretched thin… it’s all going to feel a lot harder to cope with. You might snap at your parents and lose your patience more, or you could forget things, or get so tired you don’t have time for yourself. Caring for your parents means you’ve got to have the emotional and physical capacity to do it, and you’ve only got so much of that to go around. 

The thing to remember is that looking after yourself doesn’t mean you’ve got to go on holiday or take days off where you don’t do anything – although you should be able to do those things if you want to – but taking a bit of time over a cup of tea or going for a walk when you’ve got to be by yourself to recharge, and so on, are all great ideas. 

Ask For Help Sooner, Not Later

A lot of people fall into the trap of thinking they should just handle everything alone – parents are their responsibility and no one else’s, right? But the thing is that no matter if you feel guilty or you think no one can do it as well as you, or for any other reason, no one can do an entire care role by themselves, it’s literally impossible. 

If you’ve got siblings who can help, ask them what they can do, and be honest with your friends if you’re feeling overwhelmed because they’re sure to step in to help if they can. And don’t ignore the support available in your area, like community groups, respite care services, and even visits to explore what a senior living community might be able to offer, for example. Basically, asking for help isn’t weakness or a sign of failure – it’s often the best thing for you and your parents. 

Set Boundaries You Can Stick To

Boundaries are more important than you probably think because they’re one of the best ways of making sure everyone gets the best of you instead of just what’s left of you. So that could mean deciding which tasks you can realistically manage and which ones someone else needs to do, for example, or maybe you need to learn to say no if something just isn’t possible, rather than trying to do it anyway and getting frustrated and burning out. If you set some clear limits, that’s going to help you stay more comfortable and more patient.